Anonymous comment writer thinks JYC is "weird" and "not hip"

[sigh], the abuse and risk the JYC writers face each day is disastrous, scary and downright nauseating. Today, at 10:42am and Anonymous JYC reader posted a comment to one of the posts at JYC. The comment reads as such:

u 4 absolute weirdos that write this blog think u are so hip, but u are so not!!!Just thought i would break it to you gently, so you can start picking up the pieces nice and slowly :)

Well, as editor and creator of the JewYorkCity blog, let me give you a few facts:

- We do not "think" we are hip, we 'KNOW' we are hip. We are the modern day Wikopedia definition of 'HIP'. All 4 writers come from varied walks of life: Long Island, Minnesota, Brooklyn and Manhattan - obviously, the 4 corners of the world! Long Island is famous for its Iced Tea. Minnesota is famous for its Mall of the World. Brooklyn is famous for its location of fornication of David and Victoria (Spice) Beckham leading to the name of their bechor. And Manhattan... oh Manhattan is where all the JYC writers congregated to meet and create this fabu web-zine.

- Break it to us gently? Oh, during this sad period of the 9 days (which is only a week, but whatever, Christmas really isn't 12 days either), you anonymously write to tell us of our eccentricity. Please, we are JewYorkers, we can take it... Identify yourself, have a drink - we'll treat... love us or hate us, we're here to stay.

- "Pick up pieces nice and slowly"?!? Oh, we are the bitchiest bunch on the 10025 zip code. We make those Project Runway contestants seem like innocent KBY boys... We can handle it... we've been through oh-so-much, such as the cancellation of LAX (with Heather Locklear) and Ruben Studdard's constant weight gain. And guess what, we are still here... because we are heroes.

With love, concern, and the fulfillment of Friday-mitzvah-night, even if it's b'yichud,
JewYorkCity

Would you be offended by a mother breast-feeding in public?

That's the latest poll on CNN.com. Just thought you should know - I feel like it says something odd about the state of our world today. Or maybe just something odd about CNN (bleedin' anti semitim that they are).

Gutten Shabbos.

Condi Makes Out in Lebanon, But Gets No Love in Return

Apparently, Condi received a rather paltry welcome yesterday despite her flamboyant exchange of kisses with Lebanese Prime Minister Fouad Siniora on her fleeting visit to Beirut.

This all sounds very salacious and exciting. I want to know exactly what happened!!!

Was there tongue involved?
Any activity on second or third base?
Did Fouad murmur her name and compliment her Ferragamos?
Did Condi do the dreaded 'walk of shame' after? (Was that why the visit was so 'fleeting'?)

Clue us in - you can't just say something like that and leave it dangling!!!

DOES SURI (HOLMES-CRUISE) EXIST???

I am beginning to think that Suri, the wrongly monikered Scientology spawn, is not with us. Rather, Katie was carrying a pillow for 12 months. Just where are Crazy Tom & Robot Kate hiding her?

US Weekly even dedicated a cover to this burning question. Leah Remini, the wench from "King of Queens" claims to have seen her,* but she's a Scientologist too so somehow I don't believe her.

I'm getting worried - SURI, WHERE ARE YOU????? Someone get me a pacifier.

*Why is CNN even covering this??? Shouldn't they be reporting on more important world events like JYC does??

Israeli Stocks Rise After Condi Nixes Shoe Shopping; Pays Visit to Lebanese

According to Business Week, Condoleeza Rice's unnanounced visit to Lebanese Prime Minister Fouad Siniora caused Israeli stocks to rise on the US exchange.

Hmm, what's preferable - that the US could be involved in a sham negotiation with terrorists (Hezbollah) or that Condi could have gone shoe shopping the midst of all this conflict (as she did during Hurricane Katrina)?

Hmm, I'll take the Ferragamos.

Steven is so about to get divorced....

Whoa - from an actual billboard on 54th and Broadway.... Hope Steve actually gets this as a wake up call...

As funny as this is - it ain't even real....

Russian Jewish boxer kicking ass, the Jewish way!

Whoa - I know Dmitriy Salita has a lot of fight in him, but his mentor shouldn't be inviting God to the ring with him. He is an Orthodox Jew who happens to be the seventh-ranked super lightweight in the world!

Jimmy O sees things a different way. “You go to shul to pray to God,” he says. “But in the ring, you’re alone. And if God gets in the ring with you, you kick His ass.”

What I love most about this article is Dmitriy's publicist who also happens to be a "fellow lubavitcher"

His most fervent fans say he has already passed. “Dmitriy has been a champion since the day he laced up and said he wouldn’t fight on Shabbat,” Salita’s publicist and fellow Lubavitcher told me. “He fights for a higher power.”

Go break a leg, Kosher Kid - just not your own.

Forget the Biased Media: Let the Photos Speak for Themselves

Photo 1: The Indian train massacre* - direct result of Hezbollah/other such terrorists at war
Photo 2: Israeli soldiers at war, praying on break

If you think it is I who is biased toward Israel, tell me the last time an Israeli suicide bombed (yes, it happens so often it's a verb already).

*I could go on forever about what hell these terrorist hath wrought (sounds Shakespearean this way): 911, London train bombing, Bali bombing, USS Coles, countless (really, a HUGE amount) of suicide bombings, rockets, rocks thrown etc. in Israel...

Beryl! Stay in the sea!

Just when you thought Judaism was getting old - old storm Beryl approaches North Carolina - now we all know there are no Beryl's in North Carolina, not that any of us at JYC actually no where North Carolina is - oh wait - perhaps JewGrl knows cuz she's from Minnesota.

Indian Music Videos Are Hot

I guess it's the Puritan Jewess in me, but I had no idea that India was so....hawt. I was hanging out with my (Jewish) Indian bud and she turned me on to the joys of Indian videos/remixes. They are nothing like the MTV crap we're used to - seriously, I felt like I was watching Playboy TV in saris. One video featured a smoldering Sephardic (Indian) guy dancing around the boardroom taking it off, while a Britney Spears wannabe looked on. I think I might visit Bollywood soon, or at least a Syrian wedding (love the kebabs over rice!).

Spaghetti & Burkas: A Hilarious and Inconvenient Combo

You MUST watch this video of two burka-clad women attempting to eat spaghetti. It's priceless. (Click on the image below to access it.)

WWCBD? (What Would Chef Boyardee Do?)*

*His products are not kosher, but I wonder nonetheless. And what about Francessca Rinaldi??

Liz Taylor proclaims: "I like food too much," as the Jewish nation applauds

Elizabeth Taylor is definitely just like us Jews. This week, she stated, "I wish I could be that size, but I can't be. I enjoy food too much. In the end, I'm too hedonistic. I enjoy pleasures."

I don't know about the hedonistic part, but she definitely got the J-lingo down on the food part. So Yiddin, stuff in another bagel, chug the chicken soup and become a blob as you eat an entire brisket. La Liz says it's okay, and that should be enough for us!

Wake Up!!! The Nazi Movement Alive and Well in America

Let's take a break from the normal hilarity of this site to focus on the growing anti-Semitism in America. I may bash France but clearly we have a problem here too. Maybe it's more veiled in the media and not as acceptable here in the liberal bastion of New York, but Jews and Israel are still being blamed for the world's problems.

It's hard to know what to do to combat such hatred but being informed is the first step. Take a look at this video from Minnesota filmed on 4/23/2006. I couldn't link to it in the traditional way so please copy the following link into your web browser: http://img2.tapuz.co.il/forums/1_78931098.htm

(The film is from Israel and begins with some information in Hebrew, but quickly switches to English.)

Madonna Apparently Renouncing Judaism; Jews Laugh At Her Abandonement of the Faith Since She Never Was Jewish in the First Place

It appears that Madonna is about to cut ties with Kabbalah, tired of the financial pressures, strain on her marriage and distance from Xmas that the (cough) CULT placed on her and her familia.

I'm also overjoyed about this since MADONNA WAS NEVER JEWISH. She never converted, period, no matter how many times she visited Israel, ate at Prime Grill and called herself Esther. Also, Kaballah is NOT a sect of Judaism, it's just a set of mystical beliefs that are part of a much grander scale. Madonna popularized a huge misconception about our wonderful religion, and I'm glad to see her go.

Let her descend on her crucifix in concert like the Christian that she is. Bye bye, Ms. Ciconne!!!

France Beaten to Embarrassed Pulp by Italy in World Cup; Anti-Semites Around the World Cry Into Their Beers

YICHEI! HEYDAD! YICHEI! HEYDAD!

In case you don't know, the above cheer is basically 'yay' in Hebrew, and I am overjoyed because Italy kicked France's (soccer ball) a** and won the World Cup yesterday!!! France's Jew-hating/beret and Arab-loving population was publically shamed when their best player, captain Zinédine Zidane was kicked out of the game after he nastily head butted an Italian player in overtime.* Eh, Frenchies, what is zis? Can't you hold ze emotion??? Even Sports Illustrated was perplexed by this idiocy, stating on their website that, "Explanations were nonexistent for Zidane's action in the 110th minute of his farewell game."

I have an explanation: they're French!!

As you can see, I couldn't be happier. I'm soooo glad that virulently anti-Semitic excuse for a country didn't walk away with a trophy. Instead, they skulked away like the cowards they are.

Viva le France - HA!!!! Belissima, Italia is more like it!!!

*Here's the video of the headbutt (in French!) for your viewing enjoyment.

NYPD Yoeli- Hasidic dude joins NYPD!

The New York Post cover feature story is around Yoeli, a 24 year old Hasidic Jew from Williamsburg who is beginning NYPD Academy training. Questions I have:

1) First he riots, and now he polices?
2) 24!?! Is he married? Single? The chiquas would like to know.
3) "Witriol has a degree from United Talmudical Seminary in Monroe, where he studied "religious stuff, mostly." - We all know about those sort of degrees.

Well, kudos to Yoeli... (though, I do question if it was a slow news day at the Post), and I do sure hope he buys a pair of black sneakers and rids himself of those uncomfy shoes.

Models! Theyr'e just like Jews... Paris menswear runway edition

Apparently, the Paris menswear fashion show is taking style tips from Woodmere. Check out this dude with the custom fall shaitel with a Galliano baseball-style cap running the Paris fashion show runways....

A New Take on the Bible: How It All Began

I think this is a sort of cute take on the roots of Judaism, so read away. (Of course everything goes back to Ebay...)

Stars! They're just like Jews!

Nope...Reese is not pregnant; she's bloated... Just like Jews!

Judaism Today: Trying So Hard to Be Uncool, It's Cool

I found this essay (forwarded to me by my darling mama) pretty enlightening. Be glad to be a Member of the Tribe - you're on the cutting edge!!! And how funny that FrummySuri should be referenced as part of the 'cool factor.'

(The lesson in all of this, according to the author: It is a clear demonstration of the powerful beauty and wonder ofJudaism that Judaism is so cool today, that top stars connect to it,that artists reference it, that people find wisdom in it.) I have to say that I agree. I feel pretty cool right now.

Probably dozens of times a year, you'd find parents in Orthodox neighborhoods deciding to pick that name for their newborn baby girls. But Tom and Katie? Yes, that Scientology movie star couple of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes picked the name Suri for their newdaughter. They did, they said, because Suri has its roots in biblical Hebrew, is a variant on the name Sarah, which means"princess."That followed by a few weeks, the decision of movie star Gwenyth Paltrow to name her new son, Moses. As in, well, Moses.

Somewhere in between the births of baby Suri and baby Moses were the debut of a new cable TV reality series, titled, "Shalom in theHome," in which a rabbi gives marital advice to couples; and the selection by President Bush of Joel Kaplan to be his new Karl Rove, namely his chief advisor on policy. Kaplan was named deputy chief of staff. Couple weeks before that, Bush chose Josh Bolten, nice Jewish boy, to be his chief of staff.

Meanwhile, over in movie theaters, we had the premiere of a major motion picture named, "When Do We Eat?" which is all about a Passover seder. In a couple weeks, it will be joined on the silverscreen by "Keeping Up with Steins," which is all about bar mitzvahs.Which leads me to one question. What in the hell is going on? Or,to put it more delicately, when did the whole world become Jewish?

Truth is there have been warning signs. Madonna studying Kabbalah, not holding concerts on Shabbat, visiting Israel for Rosh Hashanah. Roseanne saying she was planning a bat mitzvah. Rabbi characters showing up on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien."Two Orthodox contestants on "The Apprentice." A top pop star recording a hippedup version of "If I Were a Rich Man." Mattisyahu, clad in black hat and tzitzit, atop the rap music charts. And more. So much more.

All leading to one inescapable conclusion. Jewish is cool. Don't know how it happened, but it clearly has. When one of thebiggest stars of all decides to name his baby Suri, when the hottesttrend in TV, the reality show, stars a rabbi, when a White House under Bush, one of the goyest presidents ever, is being run by twoJews, when MTV is constantly playing videos featuring a Lubavitcher Chasid, we clearly are where it's at. ....Big time. I find that fascinating. I find that particularly fascinating inthat we have done absolutely nothing to make it happen. Indeed, agood case can be made that Judaism has gone out of its way to not berelevant, not be with it, not keep up with the times, not be cool.No how, no way.

To get serious for a (fleeting) moment....

I just found out that a good friend's father passed away suddenly last night. He was only in his 50's and she is understandably devastated. So....I guess I just wanted to use this forum to pass along the wisdom (if I may call my words wisdom) that every day and each moment is a gift.

Kiss your loved one today!

I'm beginning to worry myself - I think I need a vacation

What has this city and/or the media done to me? I used to be such an innocent little girl. Now, when I read this headline on CNN, "Crack found in foam on shuttle's fuel tank"I assumed they meant that the DEA found crack rock (i.e. crack cocaine - dirty, dirrrrty street drug) being smuggled into space via the shuttle.

Does that make any sense whatsoever? Shouldn't I have automatically realized that it was talking about a crack in the insulation? And anyway, what the heck???? I mean, who is dealing in interplanetary drug trade at this point (terrible violation of the Zeta 3000/USA Drug Treaty)?

I think I've become a Jewess that's too street savvy. The scary thing is that I just came back from a mini-vacation. Do I need a vacation from my vacation? (I did go hiking in the mountains and some of those mushrooms did look a little suspicious...)