Jewish Mothers! (In honor of Mother's Day)

Happy Mother's Day to all you long suffering Jewish mamas, slaving over the stove to perfect your gefilte fish and scrubbing floors to send poor Yidel to cheder! In your honor, I've included a list of stereotypes of Jewish mamas, courtesy of the ever genius Wikipedia.(Don't mind the sarcasm, mommy, we love you!)

Typical activities of a Jewish mother include:

1. Worrying about the day to day movements, relationships and income of her offspring, even (and usually) when they are fully grown adults.

2. Overprotecting and taking a concern in the welfare of her offspring to such an extent that it becomes ridiculous, activities may range from sending strudel in the post up to her children when they are at university, calling them on a day to day basis, expressing interest as to whether they are 'eating well' or if they have 'done their washing,' and not letting them do anything that she perceives as 'unsafe,' or 'dangerous,' even if the chances of danger are ridiculously small.

3. Usually very skilled in the kitchen, often making meals of kosher quality in excessive proportions.

4. Often getting in the way of the relationships of her offspring, often expressing much distaste and bitterness towards the man that her daughter is in a relationship with unless he is earning a large income.

5. Often setting up her sons with various women she deems fit, and making suggestions to her sons and daughters of potential partners.

6. Taking excessive pride in the achievements of her offspring. This is most apparent when in conversation with other (usually Jewish) women her own age, often making references to "My son, the lawyer... ", or "My son, the doctor...".

7. Persistant nagging of her children if she considers them to have underachieved academically or financially, or if they remain unmarried.

8. (S)mothering her children, even when they have grown up. The effect, according to Philip Roth in Portnoy's Complaint, is that "a Jewish man with parents alive is a fifteen-year-old boy and will remain a fifteen-year-old boy until the day he (or his parents) dies."

9. She stresses being respected and honored by her children. Hence, the classic dismissal of Freudian theory: "Oedipus shmoedipus! A boy shouldn't love his mother?"

10. Want their sons to be doctors when they grow up.

11. She manipulates her child through the use of guilt, as in the old joke: Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? A: (with mournful Yiddish accent) Don't worry about me; I'll just sit here in the dark.

And from me: 12. Calls you her 'shayna maidelah'!! :)