Dick in a Box = Torah in Your Ark??

I'm a latecomer to the whole Dick in a Box phenomenon, but I think it's hilarious. I was just watching it for the millionth time on YouTube and wondering what the Jewish version would be???

"We've been together such a long time, maidelah
Now it's time to step up to the bima and do some biah

After all, it's the first night of Passover
And my matzoh is quivering for you if you know what I mean

I put my Torah in your Ark
Torah in your Ark babyyyyyy

Every single holiday - Torah in your Ark!
Succos - I'll get out my lulav, boobah!
Purim - Shake my gragger for me!

Just call me Man-o-Shevitz!

It's my Torah in your Ark
Torah in your Ark babyyyyyy"

I like it. Now we just need fellow yid Andy Samberg to stop chasing shiksas and come over and record.