Paris Hilton Booked for Driving While Idiotic (DWI)!!

Breaking! At long last, on early Thursday morning, Paris Hilton was pulled over and arrested on the offense of Driving While Idiotic (DWI).

The story: A team of alert cops saw her driving in an idiotic fashion (simultaneously attempting to text on her Sidekick, brush out her hair weave, talk on the phone, snort coke and oh yeah, drive) and pulled her over on suspected DWI. Idiocy was confirmed when the Hoochy Heiress was unable to spell 'cat' and compute that '1+1=2,' thus failing the DWI test that would have demonstrated that she was not, in fact, an idiot. Ms. Hilton was then photographed, fingerprinted and booked, all while continuing to act idiotically. While the Bumbling Billionaress now maintains that her feelings have been hurt by all the attention paid to her semi-catatonic, somewhat entertaining and always mindboggling state, the Long Arm of the Law has spoken and will not be dissuaded!

The message: I have long maintained that Paris acts with a too healthy dose of idiocy for a variety of reasons. It is heartening to realize that law enforcement concurs. I hope they throw the book at her and put her in the slammer! After all, rehabilitating her from a fully functioning idiot to a semi-functioning member of society is going to take a long, long time. Perhaps Bobby Trendy, decorator of the also-idiotic Anna Nicole Smith, can help her in her comeback after she gets out of prison in 2025.