I'm as Jewish as a piece of shmaltz herring and a bissel Schnapps

How Jewish are you? It would make sense that if you define yourself by a food, you are Jewish.* According to this methodology, Jackie Mason is definitely Jewish, since he stated, "the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami."

While Good Ol' Jack is known to make funny proclamations, the interesting twist is that his declaration came as part of his lawsuit against '(Non - ed) Jews for Jesus.'

The pamphlets feature an image of Mason next to the words "Jackie Mason ... A Jew for Jesus!?" with information inside that outlines the similarities between Jews and Christians.

In an affadavit, the crunching comic stated, "The pamphlet uses my name, my likeness, my 'shtick' (if you will), and my very act, which is derived from my personality, to attract attention and converts."

It's bad enough that JforJ lies and pretends they're Jewish. But don't go stealing someone's shtick. Bravo to Jackie for calling them on it, and using the opportunity to talk about food! Now that's a real Jew.

*And if you're feeling trendy, you can define yourself as a faux crab sushi roll.