Yay! (Non-David Blaine type of) Vacay!

--> So NOT ME.







Shalom chamoodim, a very happy Jumpin Jewess is writing to you today! Why, you ask? (Why, I ask in the Socratic/Talmudic/Psychiatric method.) Well, for a simple yet wonderful reason, children. I've booked my summer vacation!

Where will I be going, you ponder? To the lovely Greek Islands, is my rejoinder!

Yes it's true, JJ & her lovely j-buddy will be invading the country of Greece and all its borders for about 12 days in August. What poetic justice that a Jewess will be wreaking havoc on Yavan, the evil country that tried to defile our holy temple, only to have us burn our light for eight nights. (But let's not go on with this Chanukah line of conversation, it's May, for the love of sandwiches.) I can assure you though that my light will not go out for 12 nights! And I'll try to spread some Jewish love around (not like that, you pigs) to make up for all the ancient warmongering.

Thankfully, on this vacation, I will be mobile and not confined to a scuba tank, unlike our freakish neighbor, David Blaine. Supposedly the dude is not doing too well after spending a freaking week in an aquarium!! Shocker! Yet, like the good idiot he is, he plans to soldier on and go through with his finale of holding his breath underwater for 9 minutes.

Well, good luck Mr. Blaine. With a name like David and after a feat like that, you may be the Messiah! (halivay) But in my opinion, you're just a silly yingel that needs a good Jewish mother to bop him over the head and scream at him, "Get out of the tank, you stinker! That's for the gefilte!" and feed him some chicken soup STAT.