Parental Control: A Shandeh for the Neighbors

I can't keep quiet anymore. I have long considered MTV to be a disgusting example of what's wrong with society today. It is rife with messages telling youth they should drink, buy things compulsively, have sex indiscriminately, and shake their booty like hoochies in bad bicycle shorts.

Of course, that doesn't stop me from (obsessively) watching MTV. Still, despite my hypocrisy, I have to rail against the show Parental Control. On this show, as MTV proudly states, fed-up parents send their 'pride and joy' on two blind dates of their choosing, in the hopes that one of them will finally catch his-or-her eye so they'll finally dump What's-Their-Name (i.e. boy/girlfriend that they don't approve of). Parents then sit side-by-side with the errant What's-Their-Name and watch live footage of both dates. Okay, interesting concept, I'll give them that.

Interesting up to a point. What MTV doesn't say is that most of the time, these 'dates' are just an excuse for the kids to go to some random place for a weird activity (paper mache comes to mind), act in an extremely suggestive manner, undress to a bathing suit/underoos and usually, make out. Meanwhile, the parents and boyfriend are watching all of this. And this is the weirdest part - the parents are usually happy to see their kids act like harlots, and cheer them on in the hopes that they will finally give 'that guy' the heave-ho.

How sick is that? Do you think your parents would be happy to see you sucking face and licking honey off the chest of a guy/girl you just met (this actually happened on one show)??? I think not. What kind of messages are they sending to their 'pride and joy'? And in the spirit of good middot, isn't this a little bit inconsiderate of the errant boyfriend's feelings? Who are these people???

Certainly not Jewish parents. The Yiddishe version of Parental Control would involve precious Henchie going out on two blind dates with Yoely and Yonkie, both of whom have been screened by the FBI. The parents anxiously watch the events unfold on TV, with the shadchan by their side. On one date, Henchie goes to the Marriot Marquis lobby, and in the other, she goes to the airport. Who does she choose??? Breathtaking suspense ensues. Controversy erupts when Yoely sits in the car with Henchie for too long, bringing up issues of Yichud. The parents are overjoyed when Henchie finally picks Yonkie, who has a plastic bag factory and respectfully got their daughter a diet Coke without as much brushing her fingers. (Can't wait to see them on OnlySimchas.)