To all chicks who wear open-toed shoes on the subway!

This morning was no different than any other morning. I woke up at 7:30am, pee'd in the toilet, washed negel vasser, thought about praying, but didn't, and then got dressed. I decided to wear my Barney's Warehouse Sale dress shirt, as it was kind of conservative, yet dressy enough. I began a GMAT class a few weeks ago, and still want to impress the people in the class - though, I have no idea why. That shirt went great with a rather new pair of Kenneth Cole pants I recently bought. Yay! My 2 week old haircut still gave me that "my hair is good" look and thus I was ready to leave.

Earbuds in ear, I leave my apartment building and listen to my Daily Affirmations for Spiritual Health and Well-being podcast. I feel good. I am focused and calm, love is my clearest vibration. I am focused and calm, love is my clearest vibration. I am focused and calm, love is my clearest vibration. I am focused and calm, love is my clearest vibration. The universe has heard my desires, and I am calm and confident. The universe has heard my desires, and I am calm and confident. The universe has heard my desires, and I am calm and confident.

Yay, I'm at the train. Screw you, Mr. AM New York, I'm more of a Metro daily type of guy. As I wait on the train platform, I wonder what craziness I will read today about Ms. Lohan and pretend to care to know who was scene on the scene (I really want Tara Reid to make a comeback!).

As I board the B train at 96th street to a diverse crowd of New Yorkers, I gaze the crowd and begin to judge everyone in car 3426 of the 9-car train. Who looks good? Who is dressed horribly? Who is rich? On 86th Street, a young woman steps onto the train, just beside me. Immediately I label her a fashion-whore wannabe. Dressed in some one piece silky thing, with black polka-dots and some sort of belt that went down in the back, she looked to sexy for this train. I scadoodle over, to give Ms-86th-St-old-money, her majesty, her space.

As I was reading some irrelevant news, I noticed myself beginning to read over Ms 86th Street's shoulder. So, she was reading an article about Morning After Hair - intriguing. As I began to inch closer, and the train got fuller... I did the horrible! I stepped on Ms 86th Street's foot. Not only did I Step on Ms 86's foot, but she was wearing open-toed shoes, and I obviously amputated a toe or two with the apparent shriek that came out of her old-money mouth.

"So sorry", the train is so crowded, I quickly replied.

"Why don't you watch wear you step?" Said Ms 8-6.

"My apologies, I'll be more careful", said the non-confrontational JewYorker at first.

"Jee-zus! I hate riding the subways!" said Little Ms Sunshine.

I could no longer stay quiet.

"Uhm, you may want to consider not wearing open-toed shoes on a NYC subway. For that matter, you shouldn't wear them in any highly populated area, it's just not safe." I said with a hint of smart-assness.

"What are you... a doctor?!" Said 86.

What the fudge is she talking about?! Doctors dont recommend suggestions for logical thinking. Whatever.

"No, I'm just a concerned citizen trying to prevent further pain from being inflicted on your toes and your Jimmy Choos."

Her eyes rolled and our little moment ended.

So, dear females of the borough of Manhattan - I urge, URGE you... please for the sake of mankind... DO NOT WEAR OPEN-TOED SHOES ON THE SUBWAY. If you do, please note you are inviting pain to your little ones. For that I will not apologize ever again.

Also, 86, FYI.... Oversized sunglasses were so June-2006... get over it.