You will get head on Rosh Hashana!

As JewYorkCity celebrates its first anniversary, I bring to you the Frequently Asked Questions my guests asked of me, and my responses:

- What is Rosh Hashana?
It's the Jewish New Year - no year of the monkey, elephant or zebra. Just the Jewish New Year - no animals involved. Dick Clark will NOT be counting down, and no balls will be dropping [err]. Literal translation means "head of the year".

- What will be different about a Rosh Hashana dinner? What's the food like?
Well, for one thing, JewYorker has never hosted a dinner like this. JewYorker does not have much experience cooking...so don't be expecting any celebrity-chef style cooking. I just learnt the difference between baking (dessert) and cooking (stove-top). Also, I learnt that fork has four letters and thus goes on the left side of the plate, because left has 4 letters too (same with knife and right). But the food will be heimishe!! The meal will also be a meat meal - the Koshers, don't mix milk and meat (know that song: "On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese, i want my poor meatballs. But that's not kosher, you see). So, no dairy products at my meal... so the lactose intolerant - yay for you!

- Different foods to look out for:
Challah: normally rectangle, will be round. Why round? Round challah symbolizes a 'perfect' year to come. No sharp corners... and just the hope of a fully-ROUNDED year.
Apples and honey: We'll be dipping apples in honey to symbolize our wish for a SWEET year to come. Get it? Honey = sweet = sweet new year. Also, raisins will be in the challah, because raisins = sweet = sweet new year.
Fish: Technically, we should be eating the head of a fish. The fish is an ancient symbol of fertility and abundance. The head of fish symbolizes the head of the new year. The head also symbolizes our hope that the Jewish people will continue to head and lead other nations with our continued hostile takeover of the media, entertainment, financial and political sectors of the world. Oh wait - that's my plan! The head really symbolizes our desire to lead other nations through righteousness. Oh and were not eating head... [err], but we'll have fish..and it'll be gefilte... and you'll eat it and love it. Please note that we do not eat horseradish or other bitter foods on Rosh Hashana. The reason for this is because we want the theme to stay SWEET. No bitter food, we don't want to begin the year with BITTERness.
Spinach and broccoli stuff: Symbolizes a GREEN year with plenty of produce.

- You said "heimishe"... what's that?
All my food will be pronounceable, and homely. Heimishe literally means "plain" and "simple". There definitely will NOT be asparagus - Jews do not eat asparagus! Gefilte, kugel, schnitzel... that's hot. In the days of celebrity chefs and fabulous dinner parties, I'm bringing back old-school Jewish food that's darned good.

- Second night?!? I never celebrate the second night.
Now you are!

- Dress... up? down? causal?
As comfortable as you want to feel.

- What can I bring?
Nothing. Especially because my apartment is Kosher. So, if you do bring something and its deemed not Kosher; I'll smile, thank you for your generous gift and when you leave, I'll give it to Wilson or Dennis (the night doorman), or to Merlin (the wizard cleaning lady).