How Sad! CPR Didn't Work for Al-Zarqawi

Known terrorist, beheader and mastermind of the Al Quaeda effort in Iraq, Abu Al-Zarqawi, was killed in a US/Coalition airstrike on June 7. That's the good news. However, upon seeing that their airstrike was successful and that they had downed one of their worst enemies, the U.S. military attempted to ressucitate him. Sadly, they were unsuccessful. That's the bad news.

Okay, just what kind of war are we fighting here? We kill one of the most evil men in this messy war, and then we attempt to keep him alive???? This political correctness has got to stop. I bet the ACLU is going to throw in a 'wrongful death' suit soon. Or maybe throw the 'good samaritan law' at bystanders. Since who wouldn't want to help keep this guy alive?

At least we know he was in fact killed by the airstrike, and not by say, choking on a peanut, as the autopsy confirms. I'm glad we're using our valuable time and resources to be sure that the 30,000 ton bomb aimed at his house did do the trick, and it wasn't some errant bass fishing accident.

Another comforting thought in this discomfiting incident - at least Abu didn't try to make out with the soldier that performed CPR on him, ala Frank the Tank and the carnie in Old School. Also, the ACLU is going to try to entice the criminals on hunger strike in Guantanamo Bay Prison to eat by bringing in a heroic 'Make Your Own Sundae' initiative.

Really nice news all around. Now let's get back to what's really important - Tropical Storm Alberto. Would it kill them to pick a Jewish name - like Hurricane Hencha Frieda Leah? I heard she's a real Jap.