The MTA: What a bunch of Momzers!

Looks like those bozos at the MTA are going to strike again! Somehow, despite the fact that they have raised our fares day in and day out, there just isn't enough money to pay their workers. Hmm....puzzling, no?

I have to say, all this talk about MTA reminds me of an MTA I thought much about in my younger days...the lovely Marsha Stern Talmudic Academy. This high school was a bastion of learning that would make the Yeshivas at Frankfurt-au-Mein blush. The students were of such a high caliber, it was a blessing to witness. As a sister student going to Central, how I envied them their clandestine poker games in the bathroom, their marching in the Dominican Day Parade, their attendance at Grateful Dead Concerts in modest tie-dyed attire, their throwing a beach ball around during speeches, their rabid smoking, their close proximity to YU (or was it Y Me?) in beautiful and sunny Washington Heights! They even had access to the alluring hot tub in Rubin Hall. When it came time for the much heralded 'Central and MTA blind date,' I had such high hopes, I almost peed in my high school pants. Would I marry the beautiful bochur I was to be set up with? Would this be a shidduch that would make the angels sing?

Unfortunately, the girl who was doing the setups with some boy over in the land of MTA plenty was not fond of me. For some incredibly odd reason I will never fathom and still puzzle over to this day (it was such a puzzling enigma), she did not love my high school self and purposely set me up with a much shorter Yid. Luckily, he was a nice sort of fellow and it wasn't that bad. However, a marriage was not to be and our pair of star-crossed lovers was never more.

Despite this startling and monstrous disappointment, I still have such fond memories of the MTA of my youth. That is why I cry out now, "Curses be on you, evil Metro Authority! Can't you emulate the more gevaldic MTA high school and just give in???" Mayor Bloomberg, heed my primal cry!