*A Day in the Life of Jumpin' Jewess*

Since I know you are dying to find out what your favorite blogger does all day, I thought I'd enlighten you:

7:45am - Alarm clock goes off. Open one eye, snicker, and fast forward the alarm.

7:59 - Have tormented dream about Jewish version of American Idol.

8:09 - Drag carcass out of bed. Ponder oatmeal but crave cereal. Gallop to kitchen and eat delish bowl of Raisin Bran with rice milk and blueberries.

8:21 - Throw open closet and put on charming outfit of black gaucho pants, patterned tights, adorably hippy gypsy top, comfy black flats.

8:41 - Makeup. Freaking eyeliner takes forever to apply and five q-tips have to die until it's finally applied correctly. Remind self once again that should have bought Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner but can't stomach trip to East Side Bloomie's.

8:58 - Finally out the door into the cold. Walk in street past garbage bags to avoid rats.

9:10 - On bus. Have evil wish that bus would just bypass physically challenged people that need ramp and delay my trip.

9:21 - At work, at last! Check email. Grimace at sad state of lone plant on desk.

10:05 - Down to work. Data data blah blah.

10:32 - Time for a snack. Granola bar. Decide to cancel dentist appointment for the millionth time. Will get to it next week (riiight).

11:15 - Time for another snack. Apple #1.

11:41 - Intruiging email from inappropriate yet adorable guy. Ponder sexy yet snappy comeback. Save as draft so response isn't too quick and therefore desperate.

12:11 - Finally okay to send email. Giggle.

12:17 - Lunch!!! Eat insane lunch of drop of tofu left over from last night, half of plain wrap, some cottage cheese.

1:00 - Data data blah blah. Yay! Another email from cute yet inappropriate guy. Imagine him in Superman suit.

1:01 - Time for another snack. Apple #2. Wonder why Roma apples are so much better for baking. Get angry about $3.29 price for grapes at lovely yet overpriced neighborhood grocery.

2:15 - Make plans to get sauced at Rancho this weekend. Love their frozen margaritas.

3:04 - Forced good cheer and small talk with coworker. Wish fervently that I could send them on to 'What Not to Wear.'

4:02 - At last, another snack! Half a can of peas.

5:15 - Head home. Ignore wolf whistle from hideous man who is always working on his ancient car on my street.

5:30 - Home at last! Mail is all crap as usual. No one loves me. No plans tonight thank G-d so drop crap at door, change clothes and rush off to gym.

5:55 - Stupid gym is overcrowded as usual. Tap foot as wait for elliptical.

6:40 - On to weight training. Eye cute guy on Stairmaster.

6:55 - Cute guy gets off Stairmaster. Has too much junk in trunk and is wearing watermelon colored shorts. Cross off list.

7:20 - Finally out of gym. Too late for Jeopardy, dang it! Pass by Starbucks and wish purchase of Venti drink could be justified. Decide to save for retirement instead.

8:00 - Dinner. No energy to cook despite well-intentioned vegetables rotting in fridge.

8:10 - Nuke two veggie burgers and have half pitcher of Crystal Lite. Crave ice cream, brownies, pie. Eat two week old leftovers instead.

8:40 - Pointless phone calls with friends that emailed with all day. Get off phone as fast as possible while admiring beautiful Blackberry.

9:20 - Brokeback Mountain is On Demand! Fast forward to sex scene.

9:40 - Switch cable to Showtime so can watch L Word.

10:36 - Check Palm Pilot to see if have plans for tomorrow. Joy! Roller skating at the Roxy.

11:29 - Off to bed! Switch on Channel 633 for relaxing music to lull self to sleep. Enjoy sounds of Celtic windchimes.

11:49 - Off to sleep....dream of Rabbi of Young Israel dressed inexplicably in toga. On to another exciting day!