A Nice Jewess Meets a Porn Star

Saturday night...yawn. What to do, what to do? Since I am the faboo JJ, I grabbed a few of my lovely girlfriends and headed down to the Meatpacking District. We were such a trendy bunch. Jaws dropped when we hit Pastis, home of the beautiful people. Though no celebs were sighted, it actually has a great bar scene.

So great, in fact, that I might have met a porn star - a Mr. Lance Romance. A whole group of rowdy Australians corralled us and claimed to be the Investor, Producer, etc. in a Vivid video. Since I am well-read, I happen to know that Vivid is the top of the porno heap. I almost plotzed with excitement! Imagine my ecstacy when I found out that a porn STAR (ahem - actor -it is a craft after all) was among us. Yes, his friends trumpeted, Mr. Lance Romance, gay icon, was in the house.

Lovely Lance was a bit portly, definitely sh%^-faced, but perfectly nice. I wasn't sure if they were pulling a prank on us, but we went along for the ride. After all, how often do I get to be in the presence of someone who claimed he was known for having the biggest (how do I say this nicely?) beach balls in the industry? We conversed for quite a while but I finally had enough. Just how much can a nice Jewish girl take????

Today, in an attempt to find out if Mr. Crocoball Dundee was legit, I googled him. He didn't look like any of the pics at the Lance Romance fan sites, but could he have gained alot of weight? Did I meet a scion of sex, or did I not?

I guess it will remain one of the great mysteries of my life. However, whether or not it was true, you can bet I went home and disinfected my hand after he shook it.