Mid-Morning Mishcababel: Obscenely Easy Blind Items

All Upper West Side, baby:

#1: Which Italiana pizzeria better improve its food, and fast? While the surly father and son team trumpet that they are 'open', they have always produced pizza that has been compared to cardboard. We think the new stuff might not even be made of molecules.

#2: Which James Tower, WWF-loving doorman is obsessed with the 'end greeting'? While residents first enjoyed his heartfelt wishes to 'Have a very good time' when they left, the constant barrage of good feeling is leaving them a bit grouchy.

#3: Which shul is so anal and Yeccish that they have ushers to lead people forcibly to their seats? While their top hats are jaunty, they are taking themselves a bit too seriously.

#4: Which brilliant, blonde blog-writer is obsessed with Nick Lachey? While she knows he isn't a Yid, she admires his regular-guy personality, ability to fix things and hot pecs, and hopes that he will give her 'one night in Paris.' (Although she would rather not listen to his music.)