Lisa Loeb is NOT a Shul Hopper - At Least Not in That Thong

Warning: Tznius police might want to skip this entry.









Last night, in an attempt to find out what all the (JewYorkCity-generated) hubbub is about, I tuned into the E!!!!! Channel to check out 'Number 1 Single,' the show about a nebbichy Lisa Loeb and her search for a good zivug. Despite her screechy song (You saaaaaaay....) which I've never quite recovered from hearing, I was rooting for her to find love, or at least lust, with a nice bochur. All was going swimmingly, and I was enjoying the pageantry:

Lisa goes on a date to the doughnut shop and stuffs her face!
Lisa has Shabbos dinner with a chassidish family and attempts to get a shidduch!
Lisa disses the 'doughnut date' that sells the story to Page Six!
Lisa walks in an Issac Mizrahi fashion show, and while getting ready, happily prances about in a black thong that show off her white, Yiddishe butt cheeks!

STOP!!

I don't know about you, but the sight of that pasty tuchus made me embarrassed for Lisa. Darling, if you want to get a date, do not bare it all prior to the first date for a national audience to see. As our sainted sages have said, 'Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?' (Especially applicable in this case because her tushy was so glaringly white, like milk.)

In any case LL (not Lindsay, who is still recovering from her teacup mishap, but Ms. Tush-a-Loeb) - I've never seen such a sight in my synagogue, nor do I want to. Back off slowly, and put the buttocks away. Thanks, and I look forward to a wonderful television viewing relationship with you.