FEH! of the summer

Sean Astin, we don't know if you're Jewish. And you know what, in this case, you look so unfortunate that it doesn't matter. You do have the chubby, pasty look of the shteiging bochur who doesn't get enough sunlight, so we're going to offer you a bit of friendly advice:

Sean, Tatti says you should never, ever wear a speedo in the mikvah! It's just not tznius. And don't you know that pink is beged eesha? Sean, we hardly knew ye.

We know that you've been spending alot of time in Hobbit-land, and Elijah Wood (Jewish?) might have advised you that pink is his favorite color. But their trends are not our trends.

Sean, we are hopeful that you'll do better in the fall. We hear that dubious swashbuckling styles are in, but even if you drape yourself in velvet ala George Costanza, that would be an improvement.

And remember, like our Jewish mothers taught us, this was all said with love. And we do love your tushy, even if it initially scared us.